My old friend and coworker Sven checked in. I've been avoiding him since the presidential elections. You see, though Sven believes he is in the American mainstream, he is actually well to the left of most Americans. He believes himself to be a newly minted American hero. You see, he just voted in his first presidential election. As he is an ardent communist, you can imagine who he voted for...

So, I relaxed at home, taking myself back to a simpler time when you were either with us, or with terrorists- negotiation was not an option. As the phone rang on, I shook myself out of  my private little respite. I cringed when I saw the name on the caller ID. Sven was at hand, and I couldn't avoid him any longer.

"Hello" I said tentatively. I knew what was coming. After eight years of President Bush ignoring Sven's socialist agenda- Sven was going to unload (in an exceedingly polite Scandinavian fashion).

"So, my old Republican friend," said Sven "I trust I haven't heard form you because you are planning your trip to Washington to participate in the inaugural festivities?" A little part of me died as I pictured myself standing amongst the throngs of liberals on the cold, grey streets of Washington. As calls of hope and change droned on around me, I imagined Nancy Pelosi catching my eye as she sat with the other dignitaries. She would stand and point at me, vocalizing only a screech straight out of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". (She isn't an alien in this vision- I always imagine that she speaks that way.)

I snapped back to reality when a horrible sound erupted from my phone. Sven was so happy he was singing. As if that wasn't bad enough he was singing that old "Katrina and the Waves" song- I'm walking in Sunshine. In Swedish. I interrupted him at WOOO-OOOH!

I Told Sven, "I have no hope only fear". Certainly Obama has achieved much in his 40 years, but he has no experience. As I thought of 4 years of my local police fighting terrorism, I felt myself starting to curl in a fetal position. I respect the Peachtree City police to no end- but they are ill equipped to stop terrorists in Saudi Arabia from hijacking a plane and doing God only knows what to it's passengers. Sven was not paying attention to my pithy comeback- he was in full on Katrina impersonation mode- screaming "and don't it feel GOOD!" into the receiver. It was then that I noticed 2 more fundamental differences between Republicans and Democrats.

First- Republicans can sing. Sven's tortured redition of the old pop standby caused my neighbors to call the police. I also  realized that there would be no protesters on the mall for this inauguration. President Bush had mobs of liberal Democrats protesting him before he even took office. As Sven continued to serenade me with "I feel the love, I feel the love, I feel the love that's really real" I pointed out that it was unlikely that there would be any bad behavior by Republicans- we wish the President elect our best, even thought we know that this may turn out to be a historically bad choice. That (finally) stopped Sven from singing. He was dumbfounded. "You can't mean that." He said. I could almost hear the blood draining out of his face, and hear his heart breaking. "How can you not feel the hope?" He asked.

My answer was clear as a bell. "What is the hope based on?" Is it hope of getting a government job? That just means more debt, red tape and bureaucracy. Is it hope of getting out of Iraq? Obama has already backpedaled on that. Is it hope for a better life? Based on what? There's always hope of better relations with Europe, but honestly does anyone lose sleep over what college students in Paris think of the United States?

I heard Sven wretch- I think he may have realized that he was sold a damaged bill of goods. I fear he is not the last American to realize this...