'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the House

Not a lobbyist was stirring, not one single louse;

Bailout stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes Ben Bernanke soon would be there;

Hedge funds and unions all snug in their beds,

While visions of bailouts danced in their heads;

And Paulson in his mansion, and Bush in his nap,

Were hoping that no one was watching this crap,

When in the news media there arose not a clatter,

Hardly a newsman to report on the matter.

Away to the TV I flew like a flash,

Tore off the Playstation I'd bought with my cash.

Saw the sun on the breast of Obama, the hunk

Distracting us all away from this junk,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But Ben Bernanke, and eight trillion reindeer,

That little old banker, so lively and quick,

I knew that my pocket was about to be picked.

More reckless than drunkards, the spendthrifts they came,

And Ben whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Dubya, Barney Frank, Reid and Pelosi!

Now, bleed 'em all dry like Bela Lugosi!

To the top of Detroit! to the Street of the Wall!

Now bail away! bail away! bail away all!"

As Ben's helicopter flew up into the sky,

Trillions of dollars started to fly,

So past the Senate the spendthifts they flew,

With bags full of money, and Hank Paulson too.

And then, in a twinkling, I read on the net

A bailout of GMAC was on the docket.

As I shook my poor head, and was turning around,

Ben bailed out GMAC without even a sound.

He sneaked in his bailout that fine Christmas Eve,

With a sneakiness no one could believe;

A bag full of money flung on his back,

Money fresh printed at the press in his shack.

He bailed out that hedge fund, made their Christmas merry!

If I'd wanted this, I'd have voted John Kerrey!

History will judge Bush kindly say those in the know,

Books by liberal historians may yet tell us so;

Ben winked his eye and twisted his head,

And promised me I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled hedge fund stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

He gave me a nod, and inflation it rose;

"But someone has to pay for this!", I said,

"No worries", Ben cried, "By then I'll be dead!"

And then I exclaimed, "It'll cost more than a pittance!",

"Happy Bailmas to all, and to Dubya good riddance."