A Tale of Two Accidental Pregnancies
Posted by: Kevin D. Korenthal | 09/03/2008 12:41 PM
By Kevin D. Korenthal
Something has been eating at me ever since the mainstream media began to erupt over revelations that Sarah Palin's 17 year-old daughter is pregnant with her 18 year-old boyfriend's baby. For almost 2 days I remained frustrated by my inability to get my arms around exactly what had me so agitated. It was right in the middle of a conversation with someone about something totally unrelated to the election that it hit me.
A family with which I have a relationship, who shall remain nameless in order to respect their privacy, has been "dealing" with a very similar challenge as that being dealt with by the Palin family. But as you will soon see, the Palin's are dealing with the obstacle of an unplanned pregnancy much differently than the members of this aforementioned family.
The father of the teen, let's call him Bradley, and I have never been close. He is a socially liberal agnostic, money obsessed attorney with significant hostility towards religion, while I fight vehemently against the effect that people of his ideology are having on society. Regardless, I always tried to get along with the guy. His daughter, "Laura", is a really sweet girl -- popular, pretty, intelligent, tough, and can catch a fish better than most boys. As far as I know, she was never promiscuous, despite her upbringing in a home where morality was irrelevant, and she had been with the same boy for awhile. She is not a minor, but she did accidentally become pregnant with her boyfriend's baby. And that is where her personal hell and our family's disgust with Bradley and his wife began.
Unlike the Palin family who have come long side their daughter in this stressful and fateful time, Bradley and his wife decided to offer their daughter an ultimatum. As she was a full time student up until a few months ago, Laura has had everything she ever needed paid for by her father. He claimed that he never made her work because he wanted her to concentrate on her education. But, as she found out, everything comes at a price and her dependence on him gave him control over her. You see, Bradley told his daughter that if she refused to have an abortion, he would take away her car, kick her out of the house and disown her. He claimed he was doing it for her own good, for her future. Bradley obviously does not see how a young mother can complete college and make a life for herself. I wonder how many young women are pressured into an abortion this way.
Frankly, we were all pleasantly shocked at Laura's response to her father's ultimatum. She left the home she shared with her parents, and a few extended family members, and moved in with her boyfriend and his parents. She, like Bristol Palin, has chosen life for her child. True to his word, Bradley has cut Laura off from not only the money and the family, but has retained possession of all of her worldly goods, including her clothes, purse, ID, and personal items. Though Laura could get legal assistance in order to remove her things, she has chosen not to, as she doesn't want the stress. As far as I know, she has had no direct contact with her parents since the incident, though we have seen some of the anger on both sides play out on the MySpace pages of those involved. Fortunately, it backfired, and though some joined Bradley's effort, many came to Laura's aid with offers of emotional support and financial help.
Contrast this behavior with that which we are learning about in the Palin home. Not only are the Palin's rallying to their daughter's side is support of helping her make the very best of a bad decision, but the family has also indicated support for the boyfriend by inviting him to accompany their daughter to the Republican National Convention.
By no means is premarital, underage sex being let off the hook by what the Palin's are doing. But in the Christian message of coming along side those that are in need is being lived out in the act of mercy that the Palin's are showing to their daughter and the world.
Something has been eating at me ever since the mainstream media began to erupt over revelations that Sarah Palin's 17 year-old daughter is pregnant with her 18 year-old boyfriend's baby. For almost 2 days I remained frustrated by my inability to get my arms around exactly what had me so agitated. It was right in the middle of a conversation with someone about something totally unrelated to the election that it hit me.
A family with which I have a relationship, who shall remain nameless in order to respect their privacy, has been "dealing" with a very similar challenge as that being dealt with by the Palin family. But as you will soon see, the Palin's are dealing with the obstacle of an unplanned pregnancy much differently than the members of this aforementioned family.
The father of the teen, let's call him Bradley, and I have never been close. He is a socially liberal agnostic, money obsessed attorney with significant hostility towards religion, while I fight vehemently against the effect that people of his ideology are having on society. Regardless, I always tried to get along with the guy. His daughter, "Laura", is a really sweet girl -- popular, pretty, intelligent, tough, and can catch a fish better than most boys. As far as I know, she was never promiscuous, despite her upbringing in a home where morality was irrelevant, and she had been with the same boy for awhile. She is not a minor, but she did accidentally become pregnant with her boyfriend's baby. And that is where her personal hell and our family's disgust with Bradley and his wife began.
Unlike the Palin family who have come long side their daughter in this stressful and fateful time, Bradley and his wife decided to offer their daughter an ultimatum. As she was a full time student up until a few months ago, Laura has had everything she ever needed paid for by her father. He claimed that he never made her work because he wanted her to concentrate on her education. But, as she found out, everything comes at a price and her dependence on him gave him control over her. You see, Bradley told his daughter that if she refused to have an abortion, he would take away her car, kick her out of the house and disown her. He claimed he was doing it for her own good, for her future. Bradley obviously does not see how a young mother can complete college and make a life for herself. I wonder how many young women are pressured into an abortion this way.
Frankly, we were all pleasantly shocked at Laura's response to her father's ultimatum. She left the home she shared with her parents, and a few extended family members, and moved in with her boyfriend and his parents. She, like Bristol Palin, has chosen life for her child. True to his word, Bradley has cut Laura off from not only the money and the family, but has retained possession of all of her worldly goods, including her clothes, purse, ID, and personal items. Though Laura could get legal assistance in order to remove her things, she has chosen not to, as she doesn't want the stress. As far as I know, she has had no direct contact with her parents since the incident, though we have seen some of the anger on both sides play out on the MySpace pages of those involved. Fortunately, it backfired, and though some joined Bradley's effort, many came to Laura's aid with offers of emotional support and financial help.
Contrast this behavior with that which we are learning about in the Palin home. Not only are the Palin's rallying to their daughter's side is support of helping her make the very best of a bad decision, but the family has also indicated support for the boyfriend by inviting him to accompany their daughter to the Republican National Convention.
By no means is premarital, underage sex being let off the hook by what the Palin's are doing. But in the Christian message of coming along side those that are in need is being lived out in the act of mercy that the Palin's are showing to their daughter and the world.
The 'Clinton' loans were done long before this mess & would have had a significant impact long ago...
Thanks for that, Kevin.
Thank you Kevin. The first hand story of an acquaintance in the same situation w/ different reactions of the parents is very sad. Sad for the daughter who feels abandoned in her time of need, even though no longer a minor, but still a student.
Yes, Bristol Palin is lucky to have an understanding and supportive family.
As I wrote to friends over the weekend sharing my own views on the revelation of the teen pregnancy and how MSM was going to have a field day with this, a 17yr old is quite different story than if she had been 15yrs old.
I am pro-choice (1st trimester only) and yes this is against the tenents and teachings of my Traditional Anglican-Catholic church. Anyway, I've never had to make the decision for myself nor a family member, but if I had a 15yr daughter who got pregnant, I've always believed even when I was 20yrs old, I would pressure her to terminate the pregnancy, and if she were immoveable, I’d recommend she give the baby up for adoption.
As a parent I’d think that “17yrs old” ... is a tough age to force that decision: is she still a child or could she be a very mature young adult?
In this case, 17yr old Bristol Palin has decided to keep the baby and marry her boyfriend. They also have very supportive and loving parents who will be by their side. I wish this young couple much luck with this difficult choice they are making and for taking responsibility for their actions.
Perhaps at her age in Alaska, which natives, visitors & Alaskan workers say is a very different world from the "lower 48," Bristol Palin is a 17yr old who is "more mature" due to the environment and more or less closed off and distinct society of Alaska … and is at 17 yrs of age to marry, can have a successful marriage and new baby.
BTW -- I am absolutely against and abhor late term abortion or partial birth abortion. That is NOT acceptable - a decision to terminate a pregnancy should be in the 1st trimester. It's monstrous to do it later to a mostly formed baby.
(Reminder - Sen Obama support late term and partial birth abortion)
A friend of mine wrote me earlier today to share her own accidental pregnancies stories.
My story of two accidental pregnancies is truly personal. When my daughter was 17 (now 66) she became pregnant by a young man she didn't even like. They got drunk at a Christmas party. They did get married, but it didn't last long. I truly loved that baby and love him deeply now that he is 48 and in a lock-up convalescent facility. As a result of use of drugs (unknown to me for 15 years), he has seizures and has to take various medications to prevent some of the seizures. In the lock-up place they take good care of him and see that he gets his medicine on time. It breaks my heart that he didn't grow up to be a good citizen, but I still love him and write him regularly. He has artistic talent and sends me cards he paints. He phones my daughter every week. He is on disability through her Social Security.
Now my heart is breaking again because my older granddaughter who is now 41 is pregnant with her first child. She told me on Father's Day that the father is older than she and has a brain tumor so they have no plans to get married now. Her mother wanted her to have an abortion, but she said she didn't want to. The doctor said she needed special genes tests to be sure the baby is all right. The tests came back that the baby is all right. Her husband of 12 years suddenly left her to live with his secretary and her children. He always told my granddaughter he didn't want children.
heartbreaking.
Wow that was powerful! Thanks Kevin
What we're experiencing is turnabout & fair play. Noone wanted to hear about Monica's 'DNA spotted' dress or Newt and his secretary, but when you take the fight to the streets, expect someone to wind up in the gutter.
If you're tired of the politics of personal destruction, stop practicing. Otherwise, expect your own laundry to be hanging in the yard. All the ridiculous pundits were talking about the moral fabric of the democratic party, but forgot to clean out their own back yards.
If Jamie Lynn Spears deserved that much attention, Bristol & Sarah's 'bad parenting' deserve the same scrutiny. Just ask Carl Rove. After all, Spears is a star in a small show, Palin is potentially the 2nd place finisher for Vice President.
The children of national candidates have always been off limits. I am not speaking to the politics of personal destruction, which I am a supporter of, I am speaking the golden rule. Don't trash the children.
The Dems could easily have spoken to the idea that a mother with 5 kids, one with developmental issues that are yet unknown, might be over-taxed by the job of VP and that would have been an honest and correct conversation to have. But those morons just can't help themselves.
So if we don't trash the children, will Karl Rove apologize to the Spears family? When he does, call me....ask for the blue guy.
Why ask for the blue guy? Because I'll be holding my breath waiting for Rove's apology.
PS The morons include Rove & the Republican party, not just the Damnocraps
Why should Karl Rove apologize to the Spear family? I think you are confusing your right-wingers again.
Because he trashed her about how she had bad upbringing, lacked moral character, and now has insisted that lil miss Palin deserves privacy and not attacks to her character.
If he's going to be an insensitive pig, one of us personal responsibility figureheads should hold our own accountable to the same degree.
That, or Bristol Palin is irresponsible, lack moral character and is the result of bad parenting.
Which is it?
You are correct, that's O'Reilly & Rush. I get my bitter old loudmouthed white guys mixed up :-P
All these stories about brave young women the CHOSE to keep their babies are wonderful.
McCain-Palin say that they will use Roe v Wade as litmus test for future Supreme Court Justices and stack the court to get Roe v Wade overturned. Then these young women will have no choice except an medically unsupervised unsafe back alley abortion that could kill the mother!
As an alternative, why don't we do more to prevent unwanted pregnancies so no one has to make this heartbreaking choice?
Every baby deserves to have a family that wants and loves the baby.
Birth Control can be virtually 100% effective, especially when the woman uses one form, and the man uses a condom! But, it takes education for our children to understand this.
McCain-Palin oppose teaching people about birth control and how to prevent sexually transmitted diseases like HIV/AIDS. They support total ignorance about birth control and preventing sexually transmitted disease until age 18.
No matter how often we tell our kids not to have sex, the plain truth is that some minors sneak off and have sex. I believe I read somewhere that 50% of American kids have sex by age 17!
When I was 17, living in a small town of 2100 peole, and the nearest movie theater was 12 miles away, sex was one of the only forms of entertainment available.
I thank God that 1) I used condoms, and 2) my girlfriend never got pregnant. The difference in my maturity at 17 vs 23 is the difference between night and day.
If my girlfriend became pregnant at 17, I probably would never have gone to college and ended up in a job paying close to minimum wage so I would not be able to buy the all the things my kids need.
Yes, we must tell our children at home, in church, and in school that this ill-advised behavior is unacceptable, but some will rebel and have sex regardless. Some will smoke cigarettes anyway. They will touch the hot stove just to find out why parents tell them not to. Kids rebel as a way of testing the boundries so they can learn where the real boundries really are. It is a way they grow up!
I feel, IMHO, that it is better to teach our children how to avoid pregnancy and AIDS instead of being smug and feeling that they 'got what they deserve' when the girl (not the boy) becomes pregnant, or they get AIDS. The minor girl may be abandoned by her immature 'boyfriend' and have to make the decision about her child's future alone, without support. As one of the stories above points out, not all families are supportive of a woman that chooses to keep her baby or even when the woman wants to offer the baby up for adoption.
Thanks for letting me share my thoughts on this emotional issue!