Barack Obama gave a remarkable speech in La Crosse, Wisconsin on Wednesday morning. remarkable in that it marks the return of the messianic vibe that oozed from his campaign throughout the summer -- and made him the butt of jokes before his handlers wisely dialed it down.

I did learn something I didn't know from The One's speech: Barack Obama solved the financial crisis:

I've spent most of my time in Washington being skeptical of this Administration, and this time was no different. That's why over a week ago, I demanded that this plan include specific proposals to protect the American taxpayer - protections that the Administration eventually agreed to, as well as Democrats and Republicans in Congress.

First, I said we needed an independent board to provide oversight and accountability for how and where this money is spent at every step of the way.

Second, I said that we cannot help banks on Wall Street without helping the millions of innocent homeowners who are struggling to stay in their homes. They deserve a plan too.

Third, I said that I would not allow this plan to become a welfare program for the Wall Street executives whose greed and irresponsibility got us into this mess.

And finally, I said that if American taxpayers are financing this solution, then you should be treated like investors - you should get every penny of your tax dollars back once this economy recovers.

And the kicker:

The rescue plan now includes those four principles. It also includes a proposal I made yesterday morning to expand federal deposit insurance for families and small businesses across America who have invested their money in our banks.

So let it be written, so let it be done! The One made his will known, and the gnomes of the Beltway scurried to make it so.

And here I thought it was the Administration and the party leaders in the Congress who worked out the rescue plan while Obama was out campaigning, leaving a note to "Call me if you need me!"

Thank goodness Minister of Truth Obama is here to tell me how it really happened. And why not? Obama told us his candidacy marks the moment when global warming will reverse itself.

With Obama, all things are possible.