This week, while the Republican candidates battled it out at the Reagan Library, the Democrats (Clinton and Obama) held a love fest in LA's Kodak Theater. Attending were many of Hollywood's "glitterati", taking time off from their parties, drugs and having babies out of wedlock to come in and gush over Hillary and Barack. Expectations were that this might be the most explosive debate yet. Unfortunately, the candidates apparently decided-or were told by the DNC-that a repeat of the South Carolina foodfight would not be in either's best interests. (Maybe it was because they both now realize they have a mutual friend-Tony Rezko.) Anyway, this debate took on the appearance of an Oscars presentation, with everyone telling everyone else how wonderful they all were-and how bad the Republicans were.

Both candidates (hungry for John Edwards' endorsement and/or votes)bent over backwards to pay tribute to the Great Man from North Carolina, who had just dropped out with his now very important 15% support.

As usual, most of the debate was centered around who had the best plan for setting up a nanny state, especially health care. It is obvious that the two biggest issues of our day- Terror and Illegal Immigration- are not that big a deal to Democratic voters. No, they want to know who is going to give them the most opium to get them through the pain of everyday life in medieval America. The candidates did not disappoint, yet they made it clear, as always, that when it comes to the issues, there is very little difference between them. Hillary, of course, is shrewd enough to recognize that, which is why she is always touting her experience- "35 years of making a difference in peoples' lives" (especially those women who had the misfortune of getting involved with her hootchie-koo hubby).

As for the War on Terror and illegal immigration, it all comes down to the same old lines- "bring the troops home from Iraq" and "comprehensive immigration reform", which means amnesty. (Now let's get back to discussing health care.)

So to sum it all up, the choice of the Democratic voters comes down to whether you want a woman president or a president of color. Apparently, the "open-minded, inclusive, compassionate" Democratic electorate is breaking down neatly along race and gender lines. Blacks favor Obama, while women favor Hillary, and Hispanics are also going to Hillary (for some strange reason- I just can't figure out why they don't like Obama).

Seriously though, it's not that Obama isn't making an effort to reach out to Hispanic voters. He has learned to say "Si, se puede!", and he even dragged in "El Gabacho Borracho" (The Gringo drunk), Teddy Kennedy, all the way across country to wow em' in East LA with a few words in Spanish. "Moochamas grasas a todos!!" or something like that. Teddy must have lost track of the time zones, figured it was time for happy hour back home and ordered up a few shooters before speaking. Nevertheless, Obama doesn't figure to get many Hispanic votes in a race that is unfortunately pitting two competing minority groups against each other.

So Tuesday, we have our primary here in California, and off the candidates go to some other poor state. Gee, I can't wait for the next debate.

gary fouse
fousesquawk