NOTE: The following was emailed to me by a friend. We have yet to ascertain attribution so the author or source remain anonymous.

“If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he's 'offended'."

"If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a liberal
doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a liberal
is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat
his enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still
look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a
liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as
independently successful. Their liberal counterparts see themselves as
victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his
situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. A
liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping
for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that
the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and
is embarrassed. If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans
like he's in labor and then sues.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have
a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he's 'offended'." 

Conservative vs. Liberal - We might add that Conservative women look like Carrie Prejean and Sarah Palin. Liberal women look like Madeleine Albright and Hillary Clinton.