“There’s no trick to being a humorist” – Will Rogers once said – “when you have the whole government working for you.”

Even though he observed this decades ago, Rogers’ quote sure says a lot about the comedy club of contemporary California.  And it would be downright funny if it wasn’t so seriously troubling.

Everyone in Sacramento is aware of our disastrous deficits, unprecedented unemployment, enduring government gridlock and continuing water shortages.  If the record low approval ratings of the Governor and Legislature are any indication, the public understands as well.

Given the need for serious action, perhaps we can expect California’s powerful regulatory regimes to take a break from operating their red tape factories and reduce costs on business and consumers?

If the recent actions of the California Air Resources Board (CARB) are any indication, we can expect no such thing.

While no one can say that 2009 has been a banner year for state government, it’s been a particularly bad 10 months for CARB.

This year, the board adopted regulations requiring gas stations to install new equipment to reduce air pollution levels.  But several bureaucratic delays ensued – shocker! – and combined with excessively high fees and widespread confusion about exactly how to comply, barely one in five gas stations statewide fulfilled the CARB mandate.

No matter.  As of April 2009, CARB was poised to swing its regulatory sledgehammer and close more than 6,000 gas stations statewide.  My legislative colleagues and I advanced emergency legislation to stop the madness, and a last minute reprieve from the governor rescued CARB from wreaking havoc on millions of Californians.

That same month saw CARB roll out its so-called “Cool Paints” initiative, aimed at reducing carbon-dioxide emissions and improving fuel economy by keeping vehicles cooler and decreasing the time and the frequency drivers use their air conditioners.

How?  By mandating the use of heat-reflective paints for all cars.  One big problem: Heat-reflecting paints for black and other dark colors haven’t been invented yet.

Not that reality should get in the way of a Utopian idea – as CARB gave every indication it was prepared to go ahead with the new rules, even when it learned that when cooling chemicals are added to black paint, the resulting color is described as “mud-puddle brown.”

Again, CARB got exposed, and it stood down.

But, if at first you don’t succeed, CARB apparently concludes, regulate, regulate again.  This time, they put forward a “Cool Cars” initiative that may have spared black cars, but took aim at regulating every new car window.  You simply cannot make this stuff up.

The CARB proposal mandated that passenger car and light truck makers install metallic reflective window glazing on all new vehicles by 2012 to keep the interiors cooler by reflecting sunlight, which they conclude will compel drivers to use less air conditioning (what is with CARB and air conditioning?) and, therefore, less energy.

Not only would this have added hundreds of dollars to the price of every car in California, the window glaze would also interfere with garage door openers, GPS units, laptop computers, satellite radio and even cell phones.

Worst of all, the window glaze can obstruct the electronic monitoring devices that many criminals wear as a condition of not being formally incarcerated.  Pretty cool, right?

Has CARB even considered what happens if someone is trapped in their car and unable to use their cell phone?  Or the consequences of losing track of a violent felon because state-mandated window glaze concealed him?  Isn’t that more important than reducing the use of air conditioning?

In an outstanding editorial, the San Diego Union-Tribune quoted auto-industry analyst Drew Winter making an important observation:

 “CARB regulators have forced positive change in the auto industry with tough regulatory actions for the past 30 years … But CARB needs to give up trying to design vehicles or be stopped before its arrogance and ignorance cause real harm.”

I’d bet a dollar that when enough people hear about this latest CARB folly, “Cool Cars” will go the way of “Cool Paints.”  And maybe – just maybe – we can finally get just a bit more serious about dealing with California’s real problems and seeing to its enduring needs.